Vermont Northern Lights Career Development Center

The Time I Took a Timeout from Love

by Sam Shane

What’s a girl who’s on a dating detox and taking it quite seriously write about? I mean after all this is a dating site and you are here for my one of a kind expertise. Before you laugh, let me direct your attention to my official title, Single Warehouse Expert. That my lovely readers is all the confirmation needed, even in the midst of swearing off all things men & dating.

 

I’m a strong proponent for dating being a learning process, damn doesn’t that make me sound like I know what I’m talking about? Hold up, I do. See if you’re doing it right you’re learning about yourself. What do you like in a man? What turns you on & off? What’s your biggest pet peeve? What’s your pattern of attraction?

Pop Quiz Time

Grab a pen, paper & jot down your answers. For fun, here are mine:

What do you like in a man? Sense of humor. Strong sense of self. I’m a sucker for height even though the men I pick are known to fall short in this department, pun totally intended.

What turns you on? A man who does what he says he going to do.

What turns you off? Using letters for words.

What’s your biggest pet peeve? When I ask a question & don’t get an answer.

What’s your pattern of attraction? Well I’ll start by saying I have a high tolerance for bullshit. Did you know that there are men whose whole personal statement can be summed up in one word: bullshitter. See how that works?

Lessons in Love from the Big Screen 

I came across this article in Cosmo. They take some of our most beloved chick flicks and basically school us in a rather refreshing way that it’s not all happily ever after & flying off into the sunset like like Danny & Sandy a’la Grease. Um, hello it took him the whole damn movie to get it together, but I digress.

Sex and The City
Lesson: Learn to love yourself

It goes like this:after Carrie was left at the alter by Big she was able to reevaluate who she truly was. Can I interject briefly and tell you that the first time I watched this movie I had to press pause & cry. PS-this was before she gets left high & dry in her gorgeous white dress. I get it, it’s a movie, but come on, didn’t you shed a tear or two too? I’m finally in the place where I’m taking the time to get to know myself. I’m funny. I’m snarky. I’m a big dork. All of which make me the perfect catch for the right guy, emphasis on right because I’m going through the wrong ones like nobody’s business.

Cosmo goes on to say that once you discover who you are, you can let in & accept the love you really deserve. Take that you arrow toting chubby little bastard!

What’s Your Number?
Lesson: The right guy is in your future, not your past

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You know I’ve never seen this movie, however I do love me some Anna Ferris! It’s easy to look back on a love past and remember it in fonder light than it actually deserves. I recently came across a number in my phone that I thought I had deleted and it definitely crossed my mind to text him–but I didn’t! He was an ass to me. Yes, he made me laugh until it hurt. Yes, he was hot. Yes, he was a doctor. And damn it he was tall! But none of the aforementioned can excuse how he made me feel. So save yourself the trouble, remind yourself why it didn’t work & find a new man to make bad memories with. I mean that’s what I’m doing.

Ruby Sparks
Lesson: Get rid of your checklist

Another movie I totally missed, what’s up with that? This guy discovers that manipulating his girlfriend into being his “dream girl” turns her dependent, clingy & naggy, the complete opposite of what he wanted. Moral of the story here: no one is perfect. While there might be things about your guy you want to change you have to remember you can’t completely change who he is. I just took this exit on the highway of love & I have to say that it makes life, or at least will make the duration of the time I spend with one man in particular–easier. For some reason he’s under the impression that the sun rises & sets on his ass. Oh, he’s got a black belt in being inconsiderate.  Accepting these undesirable characteristics does two things, the first makes me hyper aware of what I don’t want in a LTR & it allows me to stop driving myself crazy trying to “fix” him. The only thing that needed fixing was me & with that addressed I can keep one eye on him & the other one wandering, if you know what I mean.

While I’ve opted to momentarily pump the breaks on my love life, I’m putting my time & energy into my most valuable resource–myself. In just twenty-four days I’ll be back on the market a happier & more confident single broad. At least that’s the plan!